I Shouldn’t Be Scared

Since I started a blog, I decided to try to get more views by making an Instagram account. It worked… I got more views.

But I’ve also got some unwanted attention.

Not that you can see it, but this unknown person also tried to video chat me. They had no posts on their account, no nothing… Which makes you wonder what they really wanted. (Not going to give you their username).

My cousin, who was 9 at the time, had someone send her a VIDEO of their hot dog being blown, if you know what I mean. I am Seventeen and I have someone else trying to send me pictures of themselves, and not taking no for an answer. I had to block them.

Why is it that I have to be so scared to go online? Why do we have to be scared to let our kids online? I have to double check every single picture that I post, make sure that I’m not showing anything, not suggesting anything, that nothing even hints to something that I don’t want.

And, really, I shouldn’t–we shouldn’t– be scared. We shouldn’t have to worry about who is going to see our posts or what they will think. Or even have to worry about if they’re doing *things* because of your pictures. We should have to be scared.

Society as a whole kind of just ignores this… We kind of let it slid on by, hoping and praying to God that our kid isn’t next.

And when it’s our kid? We cry and rant on Facebook for a few days, “making a difference”. There’s nothing wrong with that, nothing at all. Really, there’s nothing. Buuuut… Our being upset and ranting lasts less than 2 months.

The ranting and the yelling and the demanding for not only respect for other humans online, but for consequences for those who decide to be inappropriate… Especially when it comes to minors.

Nobody should be scared to post, to check their messages, to send messages. It shouldn’t be a problem. But it is. And something needs to be done about it. We need to make a difference. #freetheposts

What do you think? How can we make a difference? How will you make a difference?

This is one girl’s madness.


Dear 7 year old me…

I saw a post on Facebook the other day asking what I would tell ‘7 year old me’ now…

Well, ten years later, I’m not quite sure. But maybe I have an idea.

See, seven year old me was innocent, creative, bossy, and set in what she wanted to do. She didn’t see the hurt in the world, or the pain, or the evil. She saw (and tried to do) only good.

The seventeen year old me isn’t nearly as innocent. My creativity has turned into an unlimited imagination that can create worlds, and people, and places. I’ve learned that bossy isn’t how to handle every situation, but I’m still sure of what I want to do. I have witnessed the hurt, the evil, the pain. Maybe I’ve even caused some… But I am fighting against it to make the world a better place. I’ve seen and felt things that nobody should have to, and I want to help as many people as I possibly can.

So, what would I say? Here is my letter to my past self:

Dear Seven Year Old Me,

“Age is just a number” is something that we will hear throughout our life, especially as we get closer to eighteen. And it really is, to a point. Age doesn’t define maturity, or when you get your license, or a boyfriend, or when you’ll have that closet full of clothes you want, or a corvette. And that’s exactly what you expected to have at sixteen, or at my age, seventeen. But, age really is just a number.

See, we’ve changed so much from where you are now. I don’t want the short skirts, or the boyfriends, or the expensive car. I have a cell phone and I hate it. And the maturity? Oh hun, I may be responsible, but maturity is out the window for us.

You were so serious for so long that you had no idea how much fun it is to be not serious… To just go out and have fun, to not be a stick in the mud. Yeah, I still have serious moments, but I learned that it’s okay to cut loose and let my hair down.

I remember how you really wanted to be popular, too. But we’re not popular in the future. I have (maybe) four or five friends… But those four or have friends? They are my everything. They’re supportive, fun, easy going… I wouldn’t trade them for the world. As you aged, you realized that you didn’t need seven hundred people to sort of like you, you only wanted a few to love the real you. I live by this.

You have always known how to love, though. Always. I’ve learned how to love everybody by now, but even during your reign, you still loved deeply. And we haven’t changed that yet. God willing, we never will. This loving thing has hurt us, well, me… And it will hurt me again… But we’ve grown. Now I’ve seen the darkness, the evil. And, I’ve taken a stand against it. We are fighting to help people live through another day because we witnessed someone who couldn’t… And that will live with us to the end.

Much to your disappointment, I’m sure, we did go through a self loathing phase. We aren’t quite out of it, either, but we are working on it. You see beauty in yourself, now, and not in everything except you. And that’s amazing.

I still write. I know you did, too, but I still do it. You really started me off on it. And I sti have the creativity. It’s just morphed into a large imagination, where I can create anything I damn well please. We haven’t lost that yet, either. And as long as we keep it, we will always see the beauty in life.

I wish I could have kept more of you with me, though. You always wanted to be older… And, now, I think I know why. You thought you would be unstoppable. And you never were stopable, and we sure as h*ll aren’t now. But we need to work on seizing the day, and going forward no matter how terrified we are. I need to work on that. So in ten years, twenty-seven year old us can look back and say that we bettered ourself. I wish I could have held onto the innocent look on the world… But now, I can help people see the good despite the bad. I’m truly better for it.

I have no idea what the future holds for us, or what God has planned, but we will thrive and go forward with confidence. Not just confidence in God, but confidence in ourself. We’ve got this. We will ways have this. So, here’s to a life time of loving, learning, and laughter, with a side of unstoppable. We’ve got this.


Us at 17

This is one girl’s madness.